We all lie. Fact.
Whether it was this morning, yesterday or last week that you last felt your nose go “Pinocchio”, we are all guilty of a little fib here and there.
Deception, sadly, is part of human nature. You might tell the odd white lie just to make someone feel better or perhaps you are more of the exaggerating type. But when does a fabrication of the truth become myth? You might use a false positive, a harmless way to ease initial social tensions with comments like ”I love the new shirt” or “nice hair.” While girls are particularly prone to being economical with the truth when it comes to avoiding upsetting someone’s feelings, men tend to be the ones exaggerating their attributes.
I am by no means saying that we are all compulsive liars, who routinely come up with whopping great big bare-faced lies, but equally, nobody is truthful all of the time. We learn to lie early on; we pick it up from our parents, just as we do speech. Even at the tender age of three, most children know how to lie and by your sixth birthday chances are you were fibbing a couple of times a day. This makes perfect sense, after all who was it that assured you Santa Claus was real and that carrots would make you see in the dark?
Society though relies on the majority of people being honest most of the time, especially when it comes to the “important” stuff. Most people only tell the odd white lie when they really believe that it is better for someone not to know the truth. Sometimes you might tell a white lie because you know you are likely to be rewarded, or less likely to be punished for it. It is much better to say in an email to your class teacher that you have an emergency doctor appointment/lady problems rather than “Hey, heavy night last night, not going to make the 10am class. See you next week.”
Technology brings a whole new dimension to the lie. Have you ever found yourself sending a text/bbm/email ending a conversation by saying you’re having dinner/seeing a friend/watching a film, when actually you just cannot be bothered to chat? Yes, I thought so. This is a new phenomenon known as the “Butler Lie”. Or perhaps you are guilty of deceiving your class teachers, sending a blank file titled “Essay” to give yourself that much needed deadline extension. I have not tried that one myself YET, honest.
Unsurprisingly, it is your parents who are most likely to be hearing, and believing, your little lies. Experts reckon teens try to deceive their parents in up to half of conversations and admit that parents are not always very good at picking up on signs of deception.
I have to confess that recently I have been lying to my parents about something. I entered myself for a beginners Mandarin examination at SOAS and my mum offered to pay the exam fee. On the day I felt that I was ill prepared and my head was further blurred with a hangover, I just didn’t turn up.
When my mum asked over the Christmas holidays if the results had come through, I lied and told her they had not yet. I lied because I thought she would be disappointed and maybe a little annoyed. In hindsight, I really regret not being honest. I hate being forced to tell more lies as my Mum asks again and again over the dinner table or on the phone about the results. I know this may seem like a trivial example, but it illustrates the point that once you tell a lie, it might just creep back up on you.
While it is not really the case with the Mandarin exam, the tricky thing is that some things are better left unsaid. We all like the idea of knowing the truth, but sometimes the truth hurts. Telling the truth can be destructive and it’s easy to see why keeping things to yourself at times seems well intentioned.
Call me cynical, but I’m just not convinced that the world would be a happier place if we knew what was going on behind people’s eyes. It is true that we are not always in the position to judge what is best for people and there is only one way to find out if someone really does want to know the truth. While I am not advocating lying for fun, for self-gain or being down right deceitful, sometimes your skeletons in the closet are there for a reason. I am not quite sure we would be able to handle the pressure if we always knew what our family, friends, teachers and colleagues had to say.
green ice cream 